


She Had Faith in :RE

by TGAchi



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, Romance, Sexual Tension, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-07-11
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:51:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7460250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TGAchi/pseuds/TGAchi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Touka... what does :RE mean?"</p><p>Violet eyes glint, light pink lips gladden, her face softens. It's a gaze so beautiful that he tenses. </p><p>"...To me… it means 'return'. Kaneki."</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Had Faith in :RE

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to take place after the current Cochlea arc, assuming that both Touka and Kaneki survive and go someplace, whether it's back to :RE or elsewhere, to recover. Also I'm predicting that some of the :RE crew dies, whether it's Yomo, Ayato, or maybe even Hinami or any combination of the three. This fic makes use of that prediction. 
> 
> It's my interpretation of the Touken romance. I was sick of there not being enough Touken fics, especially ones in which Kaneki and Touka stay in character and that attempt to follow the plot.
> 
> Also this fic was heavily inspired by the Touken cover of TG:RE Chapter 72 "Syncope and Transmission":  
> http://readms.com/r/tokyo_ghoulre/072/3346/1  
> I love this so much.

He wasn't going to leave her alone - not to deal with this; Even if he probably revoked the right to be there for her, to be her support, long ago during the endless sequence of his selfish actions. Truly he didn't deserve to be here and yet -regardless- even after everything he had done he was welcomed back, waited for even. Kaneki rarely imagined that he would have had a home waiting for him for so long. In hindsight, what he had should have been obvious, but he had been trapped in his mind, with only tunnel vision for sight. 

Even if he didn't deserve it, he would stay here, as long as necessary, as long as he might be needed. Everything else, the responsibilities bestowed upon him by the rest of the world, could wait. Yes there are so many other things waiting for him, attempting to make themselves important to him. However, as objectively important as his other responsibilities were, he simply didn't care. 

He truly was a selfish person, and that meant he would stay here, stay with her because SHE needed support, and that is what mattered most to him. 

Touka was hurting. The events at cochlea had hit her hard, and she was struggling to deal with her grief. Kaneki had pain of his own to confront, but when had he not? That was the main reason he allowed himself to be here now. They were both suffering from similar griefs, and as much as he was putting her comfort to the top of his priorities, he was being soothed as well. 

Touka wasn't there in the present with Kaneki –or with anybody else- most of the time as of late and yet, she was still extremely receptive to him; in fact she was the most receptive to _him_. It surprised him greatly and made him feel even more guilty, for he had abandoned her and the others for so long. He could sense a similar set of thoughts and feelings from Nishiki, which made him feel the slightest bit worse and even more overwhelmed. 

Nevertheless, Kaneki could tell that despite the tiny trace of surprise and even hurt in Nishiki's face, it was almost completely soothed by understanding. He had been at Touka's side all this time, he had probably been the one to come to know Touka the best while Kaneki and everyone else had been gone. And it was this evident understanding on Nishiki's part that had Kaneki feeling somewhat overwhelmed. After all of this time, Touka responded to  _him_ the most? 

This simple fact, along with her numerous actions practically screamed Touka's feelings at Kaneki, and he wasn't sure how to handle it. If the message Kaneki is getting is what he thinks it is, how _could_  he handle it? 

First and foremost, even mildly entertaining the thought, Kaneki didn't feel he deserved her feelings. He simply felt unworthy. Directly beneath that, the prospect thrilled him, threatening to make him happier than anything else ever had. However directly alongside the thrill and guilty happiness came a soul crushing fear that he struggled to control within himself everyday. What if he has become deranged enough that he was reading the signs incorrectly? More so than having his thoughts and hopes potentially being unrealistic, how would it even work? With all the baggage he had, surely over time she would become sick of it, and Kaneki knew he wouldn't be able to take that heartbreak. 

And yet, not making himself vulnerable to that heartbreak was more than a disservice to Touka, it would be a betrayal. If anyone deserved to have the ability to break him it was Touka, after all she had done and suffered through for him. He knew she wasn't asking him for anything, that she had only hopes and no expectations. This made him want to fall for her even more. 

Not that he hadn't already and he knew it. He had been in love with her for a long time. The more he spent time with her these days, the less he felt the strength to fight the seemingly endless fall. 

 

***

 

"Touka... what does :RE mean?"

 

The roof of the building had become a peaceful spot for the two of them, a place where they had been resting, mostly in silence until recently, with Touka returning more and more back to her old self. They usually met up at night, where they could look at the sky, often adorned by stars. They would simply sit next to each other, often leaning against the other, but usually nothing more. Though occasionally, they would hold hands, simply as an added means of comfort. Their feelings never breached the constraints of familiar and platonic, intimate care and affection. That is until recently. 

Before they were too exhausted for anything more. However, as of late, whilst they’ve been gradually healing, a gentle tension built between them, and now Kaneki was confronted with the enticing threat of what was now reality more firmly than ever before. Tonight, the gentle tension threatened to spark into something much more urgent and unavoidable, gaining momentum with Kaneki's question, the answer to which he knew could cement certain things between him and Touka. 

He was slightly anxious in asking her, but by this point he was ready for her version, for the truth, not what has been suggested by everyone else, including himself. Yes he was nervous, but at the same time he felt peaceful; because as he had reasoned earlier, if anyone deserved his vulnerability, it was Touka. No matter what her answer might be, he was assured by the fact that she cared about him immensely regardless. 

At his question, Touka hadn't acted surprised. She tensed slightly, but then relaxed as she returned his gaze calmly and, if Kaneki would allow himself, with affection. She had waited more than long enough for this, and she didn't know where Kaneki even still found the energy to be nervous anymore. He was a tough one and -as smart as he was- a dense one, that was for sure. 

"It means a lot of things Kaneki and I created it in hopes that it would mean different things to different people."

She was teasing him and he could see the mildly playful glint in her eye. Kaneki felt a nervous, yet happy jump in his stomach. He continued forward more strongly this time. 

"Then, what does it mean to _you_ , Touka?"

Violet eyes glint, light pink lips gladden, her face softens. It's a gaze so beautiful that he tenses. 

"...To me… it means 'return'. Kaneki."

He doesn't say anything. Encouraged by his stunned silence and dazed gaze, she continues, her heart beating more excitedly now. 

"It was always for you." Her voice is quiet but firm. "It was also supposed to be for Anteiku, but for me, it was honestly so that you would have somewhere to come back to, a place where I could wait for you..."

She trailed off a bit at the end, overwhelmed by what she was admitting as the feelings from years ago when he had disappeared resurfaced. She could tell he was overwhelmed as well, but he maintained her gaze. The look in his eyes made her say her next few words. 

"I always had  _faith_  in you."

He words came like a warm breeze. Kaneki felt so soothed that he barely heard as she continued. 

"I refused to believe you were gone, even when everyone else did."

Touka would have faltered at the past pain if not for the look on his face.

"And then one day you just walked into :RE..." She couldn't say anymore.

He knew the rest anyway. 

She was close to him, and somewhere along the way she had his hand. He returned her grip without tearing their gaze.

Nothing about the tension was gentle anymore. Kaneki closed the distance between them as if Touka had pulled him in. He pressed his lips to hers and she gasped through her nose, as she finally realized how much she had truly wanted this. But Kaneki pulled away only after a short moment, still a bit unsure. Having none of it she gripped his collar and pulled him in for another, harder kiss. 

Kaneki tensed as Touka kissed him whilst holding nothing back. Trembling slightly and breath shuddering, he was overwhelmed by the feelings and sensations surging through him. Touka slowed down enough for him to catch up. When he gained confidence she allowed one hand to grip his neck and pull him closer. 

In response Kaneki gripped her waist and pulled her onto his lap, his hands on her back, pressing her close against him. Touka broke the kiss for air while Kaneki kissed down her jaw, pressing a moist mouth against her neck. She exhaled sharply and forcibly pulled his face back to hers, this time sliding her tongue between his parted lips, into his mouth. 

Kaneki gasped a small sound into her mouth and gripped her shirt tightly, digging his fingers deeply into her skin as the heat between them abruptly rose. As Touka kissed him deeply, Kaneki kissed her back, gripping her shoulders before sliding down to grip tightly on her hips. 

Still holding him in place by his neck, Touka let the other hand rub down and up his chest before letting both hands slide down and up his arms to his shoulders, gripping tightly all the while. She tore her mouth away from his to suck and nibble on his neck. Kaneki exhaled shakily, eyes closed, and didn't think as he slid his hands underneath her shirt from the back to feel and knead her soft skin. 

With his hands on her skin Touka grabbed his face to attack his mouth again, pressing her body tightly against his. The heat in Kaneki's stomach surged with the feel of her body and allowed a hand to slide up to gently but firmly knead her breast over her bra. Touka moaned softly and broke the kiss briefly, reflexively rolling her hips against his, kissing him again. They both froze at the mutual jolts of pleasure, breaking the kiss and exchanging shaky breaths as they both slowly returned to the present.

Somehow, despite the urge to continue they remain still, gripping each other tightly, noses touching as they look at each other dazedly. 

Touka pulled away slightly, trying to ignore the feel of the hard grip of his hands on her hips, as if he was trying to paradoxically both hold her still yet keep her close. Touka sighed and hid her face in his neck. At this Kaneki relaxed as well and wrapped his arms around her as they shifted so that Touka was sitting sideways on his lap. The heat died down, and they settled into a comfortable embrace. 

Neither had much energy to think as they dozed off, exhausted under the night sky, their last thoughts about how warm they felt in each other’s arms. 

**Author's Note:**

> As you probably noticed with the thought I put into this, Tokyo Ghoul is a shameless obsession of mine. 
> 
> Please leave comments and let me know what you think! This was more of a stream of consciousness/prologue fic, it could actually be a longer fleshed out story. Are people interested?


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